Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Happy New Year!!!!!

It’s the end of another year, and everywhere you turn, there are lists. Lists of top (fill in whatever you want here) of 2009. Worst of 2009, Potentials for 2010, everything you could even think of, there is a list for it.

So hear ya go!!! Yet another list..
Top 8 Suggestions to Make 2010 Your Best Year YET! (yeah 8 – not 10, not 5 – I wanted to be different!)

8) Stop sweating the small stuff!! In a week, is it really going to matter?? The other day, I went into work, same as usual. A million things racing through my mind, stressed from fighting traffic on the Long Island Expressway, annoyed that it was so cold, wondering if there would be enough time to run out at lunch and return some Christmas gifts… Then, my boss walked over to me and tells me that a co-worker was killed in a car accident the night before. Suddenly, nothing else mattered. I felt light-headed and everything that was on my mind, just left.

7) Dishes can wait, snuggling on the sofa, with your kids, watching a Curious George episode for the 100th time, cannot. I like organization, and cleanliness. I am also a fan of relaxing, but until recently, I found it very difficult to relax on the couch, watching TV, until the dishes were done, the garbage was out and the crumbs cleaned off the table and counters. Then I realized, spending 15 or 20 minutes sitting on the sofa, between my two favorite people, was extremely relaxing, and the more times I did it, the more I could squeeze Jessica, or smell Madeline’s hair. And a funny thing happened while sitting on that sofa – we started talking, and I learned that Madeline has a tough time a recess, when her best friend goes off to play with someone else, and I found out that Jessica is fascinated with how the inside of a human body works. Would I know these things without our ‘snuggle’ time? Maybe – but I am glad I know now!

6) A guy who makes you cry is not worth it. I am such a sucker when it comes to men. I know this. A few charming words, a little attention, and I am hooked. But these actions are temporary – and if he was really worth it, he would not do things that make you cry. If a guy is truly into you, he will make the effort, he will chase you. Any guy you have to chase, does not respect you. It took me a dozen years to learn that one. Now I just have to start living what I have learned.

5) There is no need to alert people to their shortcomings – somewhere inside them, they already know – and they really don’t need to hear it from you. We all fall into that pit. We know better than anyone, and it is our job to tell people how to live their lives. WRONG! Every person is different. Every parent has their own way of doing things. Every child has their own way of making their bed. Unless someone comes up to you and says “TELL ME WHAT TO DO, AND I WILL DO WHAT YOU SAY!!” – they are not looking for direction. If someone comes to you with their problems, they are not looking for you to solve them, they are just trying to get something that is bothering them off their chest. Be a friend, be supportive. Say, “I’m sorry you are feeling that way” or “I’m so sorry you have to go through this” Then ask if there is anything that you can do. That is being supportive. Telling them that they are stupid for getting in a situation does not help. Telling them that they should do what you tell them to do, is also an easy way to get tuned out. Also, pointing out someone’s flaws is not nice. Period. Unless you are prepared to hear a few of your own flaws, to which, in my experience, the person berating people, is usually so insecure in their own skin, that they have to bring someone else down, in order to attempt to bring themselves up. So, the next time you feel it is necessary to point out to your chubby friend that they looked better when they were exercising, be prepared to either be bitch slapped, or reminded that your ass looked so much smaller when YOU were exercising!

4) People who brag about how wonderful their lives are on their facebook status, usually have pretty crappy lives. You know that person – “my son made honor roll, was voted Class prom king, Class president, Class valedictorian and got a full scholarship to Harvard” Is usually their status. Well, let me tell you – it is annoying to hear how wonderful things are, be especially weary of those who throw in “my life is so great”! If you have to say it, it usually isn’t so! Now don’t get me wrong, and occasional brag is great – cool even. But you need to mix it up a little- how about “had a flat this morning– under the 6 feet of snow that fell last night” – and we are sympathizing with you in a big way. It shows that you are a human, and humans have flaws, and confident humans are those that are able to laugh at themselves. A highly attractive quality. I believe it is called, showboating – like telling a young woman, who has been struggling with infertility for five years that you are pregnant – and it was an accident. That is very nice for you – but have a little decency and consideration for the rest of the general public. Or maybe telling the man who just lost his wife to an illness that you can’t stand your wife – and you wish she was dead – all because she fed you chicken when you wanted lasagna.

3) If someone is going through a hard time – do NOT say ‘Call me if you need anything’. First off, this is not about you. That has to be one of the laziest excuses for support ever. A few years back, I was sick. Really sick – like it’s a miracle I am still alive sick. That was an amazing gift to me. Because I got to see first hand, who my true friend were, and who were the ones that were disposable out of my life – if necessary. When you are going through a bad time, you don’t want to burden people with you problems, or asking them for help – and by calling them, you will be putting them out. If someone is that important to you, you would not wait to be called, you would be there – doing things, trying to really help, being a support, because you wanted to, because you cared about someone other than yourself. “Call me if you need anything” gets you off the hook, because most people know, that the person in need is usually not going to call if they need something – and if they do call, you can always make up some excuse like “oh I can’t – my sister in law’s ex husband’s cousin is in town”. Therefore – by saying those words – “Call me if you need me” – it appears that you are a caring person – yet you are not required to be inconvenienced in the slightest – because now, you are off the hook from actually doing anything – and if you are called upon, you can always make up an excuse to get out of it.

2) Sex is Sex, and just because it is good – does not mean that a relationship will develop. A man with an erection will do anything and say anything you want him to. Once that erection has been satisfied – he’s done. The sex could be amazing. You could make him cry at the point of orgasm. Once his brain cells have returned to his head, he will return to his wife, girlfriend, dog, mother. A man that is yours emotionally, and who comes after you, even after the return of the brain cells Northward, has potential for a future – however, always remember the old saying “Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free” – it may be slightly outdated, but the meaning is the same. Men don’t respect easy women. Once they fuck you – and they got what they wanted, the chase is over – and they move on to the next conquest. However, if the emotional relationship has been established prior to the physical one, then there is a chance that he may stick around. Maybe.

1) Don’t be a Dick. If you do something – and you realize that you hurt someone else – apologize, mean it, and don’t do it again. Nuff said.

Happy New Year all.

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