Saturday, November 21, 2009

My First Post - Acetic Acid

Hello.  Welcome.  Greetings.  HAAAY!  I have been told by some, that I should look into this world of blogs - since I tend to be a bit 'wordy' at times.  So,  I decided that I would give it a try - be warned - sometimes my attempt to embelish, and sound more interesting that I really am - comes out alot like porn.  Yes, porn.  I blame my 12th grade creative writing teacher for that - he spent an entire semester trying to get us to descibe things in different ways, and unfortunately mine comes out somewhat porn-like.  I guess that is my gift..  but I don't want to scare you away the first time I try my hand at this - I am after all, a little shy to begin with..  so, for my first post, I will go back to a place in time, where I was not so perverse - yet eager to inform..  a newsletter column I wrote at a former employer of mine - I hope you enjoy it....

There is no such thing as useless information. Someone is always in need of some type of knowledge. Deciding that the information is required at that point in time, by the individual absorbing it – that is an entirely different question…. Indeed!

But- - - wouldn’t it be satisfying, to know that some piece of information, you thought, frivolous and useless at the time you were reading it – came in handy, when you were struggling to accomplish some inane task?

So… with what I feel-is my Plethora of knowledge of all things inane (or to some, irrelevant)…. I share with you my gift.

13 things you can do with Vinegar!!!

What is vinegar? Vinegar is solution, of acetic acid. It is obtained through fermentation, and it tastes fabulous on salad, with a little oil, but it will ruin you meal, if the wine has turned to it…

1) Kill Bacteria in Meat – You can marinate your meat in vinegar overnight, and it will kill any bacteria in the meat, and tenderize it at the same time! Use ¼ cup for a 2-3 lb roast, marinate it overnight. Don’t drain or rinse the meat. Add a few of your favorite herbs, and shake away those E-coli fears.
2) Dissolve warts – Take 1 part apple cider vinegar, add 1 part glycerin – mix it into a nice lotion… apply this daily until the wart is gone. Avoid handling or kissing any frogs in the meantime.
3) Relieve an upset stomach – Take 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar. Please be advised, that if it is your overbearing mother-in-law, obnoxious boss, or even the last episode of Brett Michaels, Rock of Love, upsetting your stomach – the vinegar probably won’t help.
4) Relieve itching – soak a cotton ball with vinegar, and apply to insect bites to relieve the sting. Don’t you wish you knew this a few months ago??
5) Cure Hiccups - 1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar mixed in a cup of warm water….and drink slowly. Usually, I just keep my driver’s license picture handy – that would scare anyone’s hiccups away – and I don’t have to clean a cup. But, in case I am not around – I guess this would work too.
6) Repel ants – Put vinegar in a spray bottle, equal parts vinegar to water – spray the mixture around the door jambs, window sills and foundations. This probably will work on exasperating uncles as well. (Sorry, I just couldn’t resist that one)
7) Keep drains open – dump ½ box baking soda down the drain, pour 1 cup of vinegar down after it… watch the bubbles, once the bubbling stops, run the hot water. Your drain will flow beautifully. Here’s an amusing thing to do with the kiddies on a rainy day….fun will be had by all!
8) Remove stickers – Soak a cloth in vinegar, then soak the sticker or decal with the cloth for several minutes, the sticker/decal should then peel off easily. This is especially beneficial for those “My child is an honor student” stickers – those are just annoying.
9) Prevent Lint from sticking to your clothes in the wash – Ad a cup of vinegar to each wash load – aside from the whole lack of lint stickage….it will brighten your whites, and the colors will have never seemed so vibrant!
10) Clean windows – Put vinegar in a spray bottle – it replaces Windex. Just be careful. My windows were so clean – that a bird actually crashed into the window – the children were traumatized – I had to lay out a fortune for therapy – not to mention the little bird headstone, and there was an entire mess with the estate, all because I wanted to save a few dollars, and have nice clean windows…
11) Relieve a cold – take ¼ cup apple cider vinegar, ¼ cup of honey, mix together. Take 1 tablespoon 6-8 times a day.
12) Clean the toilet – 1 cup of white vinegar in the bowl – but then, you would probably miss that lovely blue color.
13) Turn a chicken bone to rubber – Leave a chicken bone in a glass of vinegar for 3 days – and it will bend like a piece of rubber. I know, you are asking, “Why would you want to do this?” I don’t know….. perhaps you are tiring of the bar scene, or maybe your mother took away your blankie too soon, but…. like I said before… this information may not be of any use to you at this moment in time, but who knows….. someday, somehow… someone may ask you.. Do you know how to turn a chicken bone into rubber? And you will think of me…. And you will smile.

Please!  Don't leave!  Remember, this was for a company newsletter - a little boring?  yes.  Do you hate me now, for stealing from you the moments it took to read it?  I am just going to say - I had to get my feet wet, and what better way then telling people about Vinegar? 

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